When Was the Last Time You Were Made to Really Stop and Think?

What’s the most thought provoking question you’ve been asked at work this month?

Most of my discussions, reading and reflection with clients this month has focused on the communication skill of questions. When I ask this question of my clients, the most common response is a blank face, a furrowed brow… silence.

Curiosity – manifested in brilliant questions is a skill which, when we were little kids, we were utterly brilliant at, and plagued our parents, teachers and others with endless questions, every single day with them.

So what?

So, what’s true as we become adults; as we become more educated, more experienced, more elevated in our careers, then something happens in relation to questions – and it’s not good. We just don’t ask enough of them. Why not? That’s the natural first question to ask and the answers which I’ve heard are wide-ranging and complicated:

• “I don’t want to look stupid” (psychological safety)
• “I don’t want others to think I can’t do this role” (reputation)
• “I should know all this” (shame)
• “I don’t have time to engage with these people/this meeting” (overwhelmed)
• “I know all this” (delusional)
• “I’m typically right on this” (even more delusional)

My point is this: managers have all the right answers; leaders have all the right questions. We reach for our phones endlessly during the day. We should think of cultivating our curiosity by reaching for questions in the same way as we reach for our phone. Cultivate a set of ‘killer questions’ which act in the service of the conversation, the ideas on the table, and the decisions in front of the team.

And invite others to really stop and think.